despair
and not much else to be so for real with you
hey back again this week with a special edition blog post, i have also decided that this will be the last special edition post. it is time to look forward and go with time. today i share with you a short prose? i think, i am not sure what to call it but i hope you enjoy it. and thank you for being here, i appreciate you.
to despair is to lose speed without consent. to be forced to slow down as if you missed a slow down sign and now you’re being hailed by police—you lose speed. like it is a very much - ‘what now?!” moment.
it is to lose speed and be sick of it, it is the turning of all that external speed inwards. can i take my own speed? can i keep up with myself?
it is to lose speed and not know when you will get back on the road. it is not for the impatient—me. internal friction, no one is winning just so much pushing.
it is to lose speed; to drown slowly extremely aware of each suffocating moment because you do not get to die yet. no not you. no not yet. it hurts, your life isn’t the one that is flashing before you, there is only this moment…and yet…never the present. stuck in perpetual state of asphyxiation.
when will this be over?
to answer my own question; sooner than i think.
that is all for this week, let us go ahead and expect bigger things for ourselves in the coming week and remind ourselves that reality is created through expectations.